Cookin' with Uncle Marv- Move over Julia

I've always had a thing for pie.  You can have your cake and eat it too; just make sure you leave the pie for me.  If God forbid I "get" to request a last meal on this earth, the dessert course is going to be one slice of fresh blueberry pie with real whipped cream, and one slice of Duane Beachey's custard fruit pie.  Go ahead and blindfold me against a wall after that 'cause I'll be ready to go. I will have already passed on into pie Nirvana.

Sometime around Thanksgiving my sister sent me the recipe for the world's greatest pumpkin pie. It's so good that if I face the firing squad anytime in the months of November or December there is sure to be controversy swirling around my final bites because one of my afore mentioned choices is getting benched. Here is the recipe for your making pie pleasure: julia-childs-aunt-helens-fluffy-pumpkin-pie.  Oh and how cool is it that it's freaking Julia Childs' Aunt's pie?  "The Pie That Helped Create A Legend"

Make a couple even if it's after Christmas, you will not be disappointed!

Pieology 101

-When cooking with wine or in this case bourbon, it's always important to taste the wares prior to putting any in your dish.  You may have to have a glass and ice close at hand and continuously sip the bourbon throughout the cooking process to ensure freshness.

-If you're going to make a pie with a gluten-free crust then do yourself a favor and buy a pre-made frozen one from your local Sprouts or Whole Foods.  If they happen to be out of said crusts, do not attempt to make your own using a GF baking mix.  There is a good chance that once you pre-bake the crust you will end up with what looks like a biscuit in your pie pan, which once filled and put back in the oven, will burn and have to be tossed.  In that case just make pumpkin pudding for the gluten free amongst you.

-Cooking with Molasses makes me uncomfortable.  That's probably because the bottle bears words like "Plantation" and "Black Strap".  First we have Aunt Jemima and now racist molasses.  What's next; Washington Redskins' stevia?  Thankfully my bottle was manufactured in New Jersey not Mississippi!

-One of the "first world problems" sure to give you fits this time of year is the shear number of aerosol-armed whipped cream related products available at your local Safeway.  Most only vaguely include cream at all but that's to be expected.  The problem only rears its ugly head when you get home and realize that you accidentally grabbed a can that includes words like, peppermint, light, Silk, creme brulee, or candy cane.  Avoid that indignity altogether by grabbing a carton of heavy cream and whipping up your own creamy pie topping yourself (add a dash of vanilla and smidge of powdered sugar towards the end of the whipping process).  Trust me, you'll never go back to that crap from a can again.  The only downside is not seeing your wife go to the refrigerator, grab the can, and fill her upturned mouth with a huge slug of whipped whatever it is.

-There aren't many rules related to the consumption of pumpkin pie.  It's generally eaten around Thanksgiving but that by no means should be considered sacrosanct.  Sorry Texas school book creators, Sacajawea did not in fact bring one to Plymouth for the first Turkey Day.  I would like to advocate that pumpkin pie season so-to-speak be expanded from early October to the end of February. In other words any time it's crisp to cold outside is a good time for a slice.  However there is one commandment that must be followed at all times when eating a pumpkin pastry,  "Thou shalt not eat pumpkin pie heated up"  It has got to be cold folks!  But who am I to cast the stone of guilt at the warmers among us?  I'm ashamed to say that within the walls of my home the woman I left mother and father for has recently become a pie warmer.  Shame on me!

Dancing with the Devil in the City of God

If you clicked on the title thinking you were going to be treated to a story about a recent pub crawl through Colorado Springs, well then I am sorry to disappoint you.  It's actually the title to a book I am currently perusing about about Rio de Janeiro, by Juliana Barbassa. However both cities do have religious symbols to hang their hats on; Rio has the giant Jesus statue on the mountain, and The Springs has Pat Robertson, but I digress.  Let's focus on the real reason for this piece, the best books I read in 2015.  What did you read this year that I need to add to my list for next year?

The Short and Tragic life of Robert Peace, by Jeff Hobbs

Robert Peace does the unthinkable; he escapes a single parent home in Newark for the halls of Yale. But like so many kids from difficult circumstances his past wont let go of him.  There are drugs, bad guys and death.  This is a story we white middle class folks just can't wrap our heads around.  Why is it so hard to live with success?   What happens when that hand up leaves some lost?  If you want to understand poverty I wish you luck.  But if you want the curtain pulled back just a little thc   en read this book.

Take This Man: A Memoir, by Brando Skyhorse 

As a kid growing up in the shadow of Dodgers Stadium, Brando Skyhorse was a Native American kid who lived with his mom and grandmother.  Pretty nice huh?  The only trouble was that he was actually Mexican and the women he lived with were nuts.  His mom made up the the Native thing and recycled men like Waste Management goes through pop cans. There was abuse, neglect, lots of crazy and a little boy stuck in the middle of it all.  Skyhorse brings you right into that wacky world with him in the same way Jeannette Walls does in her iconic memoir "The Glass House".  Never underestimate the strength of a child.

All The Wrong Places, by Philip Connors

One of the best books I read in 2014 was Connors' "Fire Season", about his summers as a fire lookout on a remote mountain in the Gila National Forest.  His latest offering is a prequel to "Fire Season" and it chronicles his struggle to cope with his brothers suicide.  If you've read his first book this is the logical next step, but don't try to read them out of order.  Connors can be funny in a way that helps you the reader through his difficulties.  Read them both.

Omnivores Dilemma, by Micheal Pollan

Once you've watched all the documentaries on Netflix about the state of our food systems you should settle into reading Pollan's book.  Don't worry this is not Jurgis Rudkus's "The Jungle", you wont want to starve yourself at the end.  It gives you the hard truth about your hamburger, but also offers alternatives.  A good and enlightening read.

Tulia: Race, Cocaine, and Corruption in a Small Texas Town, by Nate Blakeslee

What do you get when you mix a small town in Texas with race, drugs and a bad cop?  One hell of a book!  'Tulia" is a gripping story about what happens when the good guys go bad, and innocent people get framed. Trust me you will not be able to put this book down, and you will get your pound of flesh when it's all said and done.

Fresh off the Boat: A Memoir, by Eddie Huang

Those of you who watch the show of the same name know that "Fresh off the Boat"is the first ever sitcom about Asian Americans.  Huang's memoir takes that TV comedy much deeper into the struggle to be both American and Asian.  The pressures of suburban life collide with the expectations of immigrant parents in this coming-of-age tale.  Enjoy.

Pistol: The Life of Pete Maravich, by Mark Kriegel

Before Steph Curry there was Allen Iverson, and before Iverson came Pistol Pete. All three are and were little skinny guys that played a big man's game with panache, heart and acrobatics.  Maravich came along in a world before Sports Center and died young so his talents may be unfamiliar.  Kreigel paints the picture of his life with all of its ups and downs and the pressures he felt from all sides. Once you've read the book treat yourself to a half hour of YouTube highlights.

Medium Raw, by Anthony Bourdain

I have a really big man crush on Anthony Bourdain!  There I said it.  I will consume any and all books, documentaries and TV shows by or about Bourdain.  "Medium Raw" is a follow up to his wildly successful "Kitchen Confidential" and reads like the  gravely ramblings of many of his shows.  If you haven't yet joined the cult of"Tony" you will once you dive into his world of travel, cooking and making fun of Guy Fieri.

Something Rich and Strange: Selected Stories, by Ron Rash

Ron Rash's short stories was a departure from memoirs and crime for me.  Set in Appalachia, a place near and dear to my heart his stories are a cross section of life in the hills.  If you harbor some romance for those mountains and people you will find yourself sucked deeply into this book and it's characters,  And you'll no doubt run out and try to find Rash's other work.  Happy Reading.

Whose Woods These Are...A Photo Tale

My in-laws have a fake Christmas tree.  I know its an outrage; one that I have railed against for years, but with little to no effect.  However in an effort to pay for the sins of the father so to speak my wife and I only invite actual real, used to be alive trees into our home.  Not only that but we go out into the national forest and cut one down.  Its sort of like the carbon tax ideas being floated to counteract global warming.  Our real tree cancels out their Made in China, of Middle East oil lame fo tree thingy.  Oh and its organic, free range, non gmo, and gluten free.

Why spend seventy big ones at a tree stand or God forbid Costco an a tree that was cut down a week ago in Oregon and shipped here?  You'll be lucky if it last three weeks.  Ten bucks and some gas gets you way more tree then you can handle.

Oh and it lovely, crisp and invigorating up in the mountains this time of year!  We ran into this guy was out on the trail having a some sort of zen timeout.

Don't forget a saw! And don't cut the tree two feet off the ground and leave the stump.  Get down on your knees in the snow and cut it right.  Non of this wussification of America crap.

L.L. Bean should be contacting me any day now to plead for the rights to this shot for their next mailer.

Yeah my wife does takes good pictures doesn't she?

My little brother and I have a thing going were by we send each other pics of our truck looking cool. Scoreboard Gary!!