Its been almost ten years since my wife and I decided pack our belongings into an aging Toyota Camry and leave the promise land of California for the mountains of eastern Kentucky. Along the way we went to The Field of Dreams (dreamy!) in Iowa and ate blueberries with friends in Georgia. Soon after arriving we again piloted that Toyota to Pennsylvania for training. It was there that I found myself standing in a long line in a grassy field with a diverse group of people about to get my eyes opened. It started out simply enough. If you were white you were to take a large step forward. OK, now males take another step; high school graduates another. The commands followed until I realized I had left the white women, older folks and people of color behind. The only people that were ahead of me in the field were other white males that owned a home and had a masters degree. Oh the injustice! I needed that damn house or a diploma on my wall to get ahead. Never mind that my status as a white male had helped me lap ninety five percent of the field, I felt like crying myself to sleep that night.
Take a look at the trending topics on social media this year so far and besides Deflate Gate (Free Tom Brady) and the latest Taco Bell "creation" you will find a lot of chatter about Baltimore, Michael Brown, police shootings, thugs, looting, and the game with no fans. Now as a guy near the top of the food chain in this country I am not going to comment on the news surrounding Baltimore, Ferguson and Eric Garner. I can however urge the gentle reader to spend time reading the many well written pieces available by those who can. I have done just that and could probably fill this page with links to works by smart people on these difficult topics such as
newyorkercity-life-what-racism-has-done-to-baltimore. The reason I probably shouldn't espouse my opinions on what it's like to be a minority in this country is because I am not qualified. Not just because I don't have to deal with many of the issues faced by the poor, the black or the gay. But because it turns out that I have some hidden biases.
Lately I have taken some surveys (check out
Project Implicit) on bias and it turns out that not only do I favor white presidents (not Reagan thank God) over Obama, and straight people over gay, but also white people over people of color. Its been really confusing since I consider myself to be an Obama supporter, gay friendly and definitely not racist. Maybe the surveys are crap, or maybe I somehow did them wrong? Maybe someone is just trying to make me feel guilty? Or maybe I have some biases or "implicit associations" that color, no pun intended, my world view? I am guessing it's the latter.
Remember the story about that field in Pennsylvania? Maybe one of the reasons I can't understand why people burn their own city, or wrestle with the cops is because I am so far out in front of everyone else in the field of life that I don't understand the lives of those that aren't like me. Yes I have gay friends, vote democrat and once lived in mobile home (for a month but it still counts). But I've also always been given the benefit of the doubt in a traffic stop, never lived in a food desert, or had to leave my family behind to find a job that allows them to survive.
As I write this, there is controversy swirling around a BBQ joint here in Colorado that has decided to designate June 11th as White Appreciation Day, (
cnn.com/-white-appreciation-day) because we don't have a day to celebrate white people. During an interview with the owner, the talking head on CNN asks him if he knows that the reason we have Black History and Spanish Heritage months is because those groups were marginalized in this country. The owner who is Mexican American said he did understand that fact but felt that "whites deserve the same amount of appreciation as any other race". I appreciate the sentiment, but isn't everyday white (male) appreciation day?
Everyone who reads my ramblings knows that I have a pretty strong man crush on Wendell Berry! In his book of poetry "Entries" he includes the following poem.
Anglo-Saxon Protestant Heterosexual Men
let us cheerfully acknowledge
that we are the last hope of the world,
for we have no excuses,
nobody to blame but ourselves.
Who is going to sit at our feet
and listen while we bewail
our historical sufferings? Who
will ever believe that we also
have wept in the night
with repressed longing to become
our real selves? Who will
stand forth and proclaim
that we have virtues and talents
peculiar to our category? Nobody,
and that is good. For here we are
at last with our real selves
in the real world. Therefore,
let us quiet our hearts, my brothers,
and settle down for a change
to pick up after ourselves
and a few centuries of honest work.
Wow, Mr. Berry, don't mince any words! But at the risk of disagreeing with one of my heroes I am not sure I want to be the last hope of the world. Haven't white men been the future for a long time and hasn't our track record been spotty at best? And that weeping in the night stuff; I know for a fact that's true.
If at this point you're still reading you may be asking what's your point, and you aren't alone. When I started writing this I was attempting to comment on things I don't really know anything about. But after reading Berry's poem again I believe he is telling me to "quiet my heart" and do my part to make life for folks behind me a little sweeter. Point taken!
